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| so i woke up this morning to my mom talking on the phone with her brother in canada... his wife recently offered me a job over there to look after their daycare while they live in cali for a while... i was excited about taking the offer but my dad thought it might not be a good idea to do it alone in case of any legal issues. he was right. so i pretty much thought that i wasn't going to take the job. then i found out that my aunt offered it to my other aunt, who accepted. so i thought, maybe i can just work there in august with her and then come back to jersey to teach in sept. but last week my mom told me that my aunt actually gave the job to another lady... so that plan was shot. so this morning i hear her talking and i keep hearing my name throughout her conversation... turns out that she was telling my uncle to just give the daycare to my aunt and that i would move there to help if he did. so i'm going to say that it's pretty certain that i'm moving to canada for a while. maybe until april of next year. all i'm waiting for is my aunt's approval, an official job offer, then when i get there i need to apply for a working visa. it's kind of crazy because i had it set in my mind already that i wasn't going there. well, i guess i still don't know yet. and it's really all up to God to open the doors and make it work out. if it does happen... 1. my dad will be upset. haha. he doesn't really want me far away from him. =p and 2. i will so miss my church. it's been an amazing year since i graduated of just serving and being involved in ministries. 3. i won't be taking care of my little chunks anymore. =/
so for now, the "plan" is to go there in august and stay until the end of april. go to liberty for my graduation. take a tesol class. go to korea for the summer to teach English. find a sp. ed. job in canada for '10 fall. most likely, knowing how my life has turned out now, this probably won't happen. haha.
in the midst of all this planning, i know it is God who will lead me to where i should be...
Proverbs 16:9- A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.
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| i really need to catch up, but i have lost all motivation.
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| sometimes i get so caught up with everything happening in my own world that i forget that there is a much bigger world out there. i forget that my world is so small compared to the one that God calls me to reach out to, the one full of people going through much harder trials, of people who worry about how they will get the next day's meals or if their house will be bombed, instead of what they should wear or what restaurant they should eat at, of people who have lost loved ones and continue to see death in their communities each day, of people crying out and yearning for a Savior... there's so much more out there...
oh dear God, this world is too big, and my world is too small, for me to be so caught up in myself that i neglect the needs of other's. i am too blessed to live like that. help me not to forget...
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| beautiful letdown.
i don't belong here.
can't wait to leave this place. but until then i will continue to do what God wants me to do, by His grace alone.
i won't be satisfied until i see You face to face.
my heart is yearning...
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| so i'm usually not into technology or anything, but lately i've been lusting after and saving up for one. it's the only thing that i've really wanted really badly. i thought ipods, mp3 players, psp's, and ds's were nice but didn't really care for them. someone did get me a shuffle for my birthday, i have a dell that i got 3 years ago, i have a canon digital camera, and a prepaid cellphone. i'm very grateful for all of it and i use all of them pretty much everyday. but they were not things that i really wanted. or worked to get. but this... is serious. an obsession almost. haha.
 
isn't it lovely? everything you need (mostly want) in one little hand-held beauty.
so i was doing a good job of saving up. i was going to go to best buy to get one, but decided to wait until after Thanksgiving. but then certain events happened this week that decreased my desire to buy it:
1. i usually research what i want to buy. i researched my laptop and my camera. i researched the psp that i bought for my cousin. and i researched the iphone. some drawbacks: short battery life, no picture messages, no video. that's not bad at all. so i was convinced. i neeeed to get this phone! but then i read an article which basically informed me that if i am ineligible for an upgrade from att, have poor credit (i don't have any credit), don't already own an iphone, and want unlimited text messaging, i could be paying almost $2,000!!!! for a two-year contract. that is ridiculous considering how much i make. is it really worth it? a part of me thinks so, but that's the lusting, non-practical side of me.
2. i realized that there are other, more important things to pay for. weekly things- gas and food. monthly- tuition, books, and weekend trips to virginia. end of year- a week in virginia. and my parents are celebrating their anniversary. can't leave my mom to pay for all of that... and i'd also like to fly to chicago for a week in jan.
3. i am an idiot. so i've driven to the city once before, to watch a random concert with some friends. for some reason i like to think that driving there saves me money. well that time, it cost me $40 just for parking!!! compare that to $14 for commuting. so this saturday i had to use the library for a research paper. mid-manhattan library happens to have an extensive section just for education. it was too cold to commute and it was the weekend so parking is free right. so i decided to drive. finding parking took forever but i finally found a spot. walked to the library and it took me less than an hour to find what i needed. as i was walking back to my car, this is what i found...
it's these random, unplanned expenses that make it harder to save and make me not want to buy one. so much for free parking! =(
i guess i'll just keep waiting...
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